The Unabridged Version

For those of you who are interested in knowing how the whole natural birthing at home went, here is the long version. Most everyone knows about the bleeding and the hospital stay, but that's not what I think of when I look back at Elsie's birth.

I had been having lots of contractions a few weeks before she came. They were irregular and completely painless but became much more frequent starting the Thursday before. There were several occasions when we started timing them just to see, but no real progress. The Monday before, I saw the midwife and was at a four, so they were doing something. My brother's birthday was that Wed and my mom's that Thurs. I thought it would have been great had she come on either of those days. (We have three days in my family where two individuals share birthdays. The more the merrier.) She didn't come and didn't come. I was talking to my sister on Friday and said,
"I hope baby doesn't come tomorrow because 23 is a really dumb number. Sunday would be so much better." Ha ha...little did I know.

Woke up Saturday morning and Jared had to work that day. My family has a tradition for my mom's birthday to float the Provo river on big rafts. I decided to go because I was going to be pregnant the rest of my life. Had several more contractions on the river and a really good time. Came back to my mom's house, took a shower and sat around, mindlessly counting the contractions. A little around three they started getting "different," lower and more intense. I didn't want to call false alarm so I kept waiting. I called Jared to see how much longer he had to work and he was wrapping up, so I told him to come. After 40 minutes or so, I decided I really was in labor, but wanted this tuna sandwich my sister was making (They are divine!). Jared was there, trying to get me to go home. After I eat, says I. A few bites into it, I started using my hypnosis, stopping the chewing to breathe and concentrate on relaxing when a contraction came.

We called Richelle, the midwife, on the way home at about 4:30. She gave instructions to get the birthing tub ready. By the time we got home, the contractions were much more regular and intense. Jared was getting things ready, spreading plastic and getting the old sheets. I kept resisting the urge to give instructions...mostly. We put on the CD of relaxation suggestions and I walked around the house, sat on the ball, took a warm shower, not feeling any real pain, but noticing the contractions were more intense, almost with each one. I started shaking a little and felt heat coming from by body, kind of like that weird feeling that comes right before you vomit. It really helped to have Jared right there, stroking my hair or back, holding my hand, whispering good positive things. Richelle showed up at about 5:25 and was pulling her stuff out to get ready. I lied on the bed to get a Strep B wash and suddenly sat up. "Some thing's wrong," I said. A contraction started that was super intense and all over my whole body. I ran into the bathroom and puked my guts out, along with that tuna sandwich. Came back to the bedroom and Richelle said I was at a nine. That was exciting, because I was loosing focus and glad to be near the end, but also really sad that I didn't get to use the birthing tub. Weird that I thought that in the middle of everything.

I had two more contractions that made me panic a little. Just really intense and much more than just the uterus. I was lying on the bed, moaning my way through it, when the urge to push came suddenly and strongly. "I need to stand," and jumped up next to the bed, stabilizing myself with my hands on the bed. I pushed and the water broke and saw meconium. Then I pushed again and her little head came out. Jared said, "Look, it's her little ear." I reached down for a second, but my legs were shaking so badly, I was nervous to take my hands off the bed. Pushed a third time and Richelle caught her. I was looking down to see what flavor she was, but only saw limbs and a cord. Then Jared said, "It's a little girl," and I looked again to see that, yes, there were no extra parts. Exhausted and exhilarated, I laid on the bed and held my little baby while Richelle wrapped her and me in blankets. Everything was great for about four or five minutes, then she noticed I started bleeding. She finally reached up there to take the placenta out, but that didn't stop it. She couldn't get it under control after an hour, so we called the ambulance and got taken to the hospital. You know the rest.

The whole experience was perfect, except obviously for the hospital part. The thing that I didn't expect was this immense feeling of gratitude, especially for Richelle and that care she gave me. Zina's birth was surrounded with joy, lots and lots of joy. But I didn't experience the gratitude that I felt and still feel with Elsie's birth. It was a really good lesson for me, that pain can teach us gratitude if we let it. I will definitely go natural again. In fact I'm excited to. I love feeling everything, especially the thinness between heaven and earth. I often look at the spot where I birthed as I fall asleep or wake up and take a few moments to enjoy the great reverence I feel.